Cool Man With an Even Cooler Hat
Skunk Jugglers
Peacock Swagger · Failed Seduction · Pickup Artist Satire · Alt-Pop
#VERSE
His feathered hat shouts “Cool!”
While whispers say, “Ridiculous!”
But shy-boy Kyle bought a romance course
That promised he’d score if he dressed like this
Now his new image is blooming
Dripping with style that makes women stare
When he heard about this party
He knew he had to be there
#PRE-CHORUS
He glides in the room, turns every head
He’s sure his shark's tooth necklace gives him instant surfer cred
Flips back his flowing curls with a rock star’s aura
But his crowning glory is that feathered fedora
#CHORUS
Cool man with an even cooler hat
Cool man with an even cooler hat
He’s the leader of a one-man Peacock pack
Cool man with an even cooler hat
#VERSE
Kyle makes a beeline to the bar
Orders two top-shelf whiskey sours
One for him, one for the high-heeled goddess
He plans to charm with his scripted powers
He locks on a target across the room
Hands Sara the drink with his rehearsed attack
Drops her a complisult to claim the upper hand
’Cause the book swore all the pickup kings do that
#PRE-CHORUS
His shirt makes a statement—fuchsia and yellow stripes
His cornflower blue contacts turn up the hype
You can snicker at him, he’ll smirk at you
Brushes off the snubs—like cool guys always do
#CHORUS
Cool man with an even cooler hat
Cool man with an even cooler hat
Sara smiles politely but sees through his act
Cool man with an even cooler hat
#BRIDGE
Men at the party wonder
“How the hell does this work?
Women seem drawn to him
When he’s clearly a jerk”
Kyle’s chest is puffed with pride
Certain he’s escaped his past as a wimp
He’s sure he’ll seal the deal tonight
Or will his sneaky plan go limp?
#INSTRUMENTAL
#VERSE
Now poor, pitiful Kyle
Is sulking out the door
Sara called out his Peacock tricks
She’d dated a guy who pulled this stunt before
His eyes well up as his swagger wilts
He feels more dud than debonair
Kyle’s “Pick Up Artist” strategies bombed big time
Didn’t get him anywhere
#CHORUS
Cool man with an even cooler hat
Kyle’s mind games have fallen flat
Will this first peacock strut also be his last
Or has he got the guts to keep wearing this mask
#CHORUS
Cool man with an even cooler hat
Cool man with an even cooler hat
Tears flow as he crawls alone in the sack
Cool man with an even cooler hat
Cool man with an even cooler hat
Cool man with an even cooler hat
Can anyone find love
Playing games like that
As a cool man with an even cooler hat
Cool man with an even cooler hat
v250812r