Cooler Than You E
Skunk Jugglers
Cocky Narcissists · Sexual Satire · Irreverent Alt Rock
#VERSE
We don’t apologize for the way we look
Wish we got ten bucks for each pic people took
Cause the heads all turn and whispers begin
We walk in a room, and hear, “They’re hotter than sin”
#VERSE
It’s fun watching envy crawl across your face
But being uncool like you is no disgrace
Bold, buff, and beautiful: that’s our condition
You’re tired, tame, and tepid, so start your wishin’
’Cause…
#CHORUS
We’re cooler than you
And much hotter too
I’m stronger, last longer
She’s got all the moves
We’re the top copulators
I’m her love kangaroo
We love life and great orgasms
We’re cooler than you
#VERSE
We’re not saying these things to demean or belittle
But face facts, sex is much better when you’re fit as a fiddle
We’ve got great hair, great skin, washboard abs tight and lean
We’re the Adam and Eve of the hot-body scene
#VERSE
And, let’s talk about muscle, cause that what I’ve got
Firm girth where it counts, and it gets women hot
My girlfriend Jenna stays flexible, bends but won’t break
She can dance like a pretzel, and fucks like a snake
#CHORUS
We’re cooler than you
And much hotter too
We’re on the top rung of Hollywood’s
List of “Who’s Who”
We attend wild parties
Where we swim in the nude
Get applause from the stars
Cause we out-cool them, too
#BRIDGE
But my lover Jenna heard something strange
Burned me up like hot lava—messed with my brain
A sex therapist was quoted on the nightly news
Saying, “Great sex is for all, not just the hot few”
She said, “Those at the back of the fitness parade
Can still have awesome orgasms when they get laid”
But if great sex can occur for those not beefed up and slim
Why the hell have I spent half my life in the gym?
#CHORUS
So, accept my apology
For our fucked-up words
Maybe we’re not so hot
Maybe we’re just gym-rat turds
I don’t suggest swimming naked
Unless you’re sculpted like us
But we wish you happy orgasms
Next time you make love
#OUTRO
And, since my foot’s in my mouth
And I’ve eaten my shoe
I guess we’ll stop saying
“We’re cooler than you”
I guess we’ll stop saying
“We’re cooler than you”
Jenna and I have great orgasms
But you can have them, too
So, we’re gonna stop saying
“We’re cooler than you”
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